My vacation

So here it is and I'll be the first to say; this was pne of the worst vacations ever. Yes, I understand my dad put a lot of time and money into it. But it was just the worst timing ever and the people that made it so bad. Where shall I start:
 is my trip to Hilo, Hawaii.

Depressing day leaving right when Jason just got back that day.
Left and I made myself tired so I'd sleep on the flights.
Land in Honolulu and we are late because of Air Canada, so we run to the other end of the airport to try and catch our flight.
We are five minutes late and that was the last flight that night so we are on the next flight then next day around noon and sleep in a crappy hotel.
Finally leave and get there, nice place we are staying and got a nice car. We find basically all there is to do there. First couple of days we basically accomplished it all.
Went to both the volancos, the zoo, Hilo, refuge, the other city Kona. All done and I was bored adn ready to leave and I missed Saskatoon and home and friends and familiarity.
So the days we chilled at home it was raining for most of it so got two small days of tanning in.
Went on a helicopter ride, almost sick, thank god I didn't puke though.
And the plan was to leave the next day.
So that wasyesterday, still in hawaii. Our flight was to leave around 5. They cancelled the flight on us. Meaning we have no connection to honolulu, calgary and saskatoon.
Waited around the airport for hours and this is all we figured out.
Air canada is taking all the money we had for our flights. We didnt leave here til 9am and got to wait here (in honolulu airport) for approx 10 hours and leave to vancouver at 9:20. Wait a few more hours then leave to Calgary. We get to Calgary around 10 something tuesday morning and since there are no flights and seats left we are planning on driving to saskatoon which is 6 and a half hours. So today was jason's birthday and i had to miss it because of this stupid airlines problem. Also, they are making us pay for it out of our asses, which my dad actually now, I just found out had some travellers insurance or something. But, seriously? Like what the fuck. Well, i cannot wait to be home and I wish i left earlier or never left at all.
Fuck you airlines; you fucked up everything.

Venting

I am also done (excuse my language in this post) giving a fuck! I'm serious now. I thought that I was just too attached and was tired of how things were working out, so I thought maybe sicne the best time was when we first started dating and I didn't care that much maybe things would be better. So many girls come out to you, get close to you, try to play with you... yes, I get pissed of at them and want to tell them off because these girls obviously have no respect that you are in a relationship and have no respect for me. Especially when two of them tried being friends with me and one is still trying and now I think realizes the boundaries.

But, yeah this is how it's going to go down. If you don't care, I won't either. If you wanna go hang out with a girl who I don't like, fine I don't care. You want to hide things from me, fine I don't care. You want to just not be open with me even though I tell you all I can so I can get it in return, fine I don't care. You can cheat, I don't care, just know that if I find out there will be concequences. You want to hurt me, fine I don't care. The reason I worried in the first place is because I cared. Sorry that I'm still stuck with how I thought relationships were kinda suppose to be because of my last fucked up relationship and I don't even know what a normal relationship is. And I know I'm just venting right now, but I'm done giving a fuck. I'm done being the one to talk first, to ask first, to care first. I have made sacrafices in all my relationships and the guys always seem to never really realize how hard that is for me. I'm done. I still love him with all my heart and would be torn if we broke up, and I am happy. I don''t understand and I'm tired of trying to talk to you about it. Now it's your turn. (:


By the way, don't take everything I just said seriously, I am jsut venting the only way I know how at the moment.

Home?

Sorry it's been a while guys! I'm on vacation at the moment. And do not get mad at me for this, but honestly the Big Island of Hawaii is really not that great. Well it is, just really boring. Yeah, you can tan and see volcanos, had a free zoo, but other than that, we have a week left of this and basically have done all that there is to do. Snorkelling is good but dangerous, no life guards or signs, waves. I went once, the greatest stuff is out where it's super wavey and you always get water in your snorkel tube I found. I saw a lot of cute spotted boxerfish/pufferfish like we used to have in our aquarium back home.

Anyways, the thing is, I want to go home. Early! Ya, it's vacation, I know to relax. But once you have done everything that basically occupied your mind from being homesick, what's left? I really want to go home. Back in Canada. Yes, it's nice here but I am a person that likes being comfortable with my surroundings and being familiar. I don't know anyone here and won't meet anyone because this isn't a touristy place and never really talk to anyone. Only people we talk to would be the cashiers and they seem nice but yeah, that's pretty sad. I miss my friends, I miss the cold and I miss Saskatoon. I feel so out of place here.

I finished Sabrina's gift, and almost done Jason's. I realy wanna find a little set of shot glasses saying hawaii or something on it to bring back for a few people. That would be easy.

I need to be home. I miss all of you ): <3

1ove

Last full week of school. Can I hear a "Woo WOO!"

My heart
        crimson red
beats for -- the
   1ove

Discovered this on my own at school today while writing in English waiting for the bell to ring. I put one love then realised I could put 1ove and be witty and clever about it. (:

I kind of feel a deep sensation. A chance to be one with myself and this universe. I exist as one. Different perspective, different thoughts and different interpretations.

"And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...

You don't wanna hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There's a thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?"
(Placebo - Running up that hill)
 Those eyes I stare into I drown into.
Deep, deep meaning.
Though I lose myself in them, and cannot escape.
I feel a comfort and
I know that I am in good arms.

What I just wrote will probably have no significance to you or you can interpret it to your own. But I will be the only one that knows that certain feelings I get and know why I wrote what I wrote.

TGIF

Hello there people bored enough to read this blog.

It's just a thursday night well now I guess it's a friday morning, it's close to 1 am, and the reason I am up so late and not caring is because I get to sleep in tomorrow. Missing all morning and then my afternoon classes we are just watching basketball. Now that's a good Friday.

Just under two weeks until I leave to Hawaii and miss all my friends and Sabrina and Jason very much. ): You guys are always going to be on my mind and I would think there is internet there so I am forsure bringing my lappy. Haha, Jason almost saw his V-day gift tonight, it was kind of hidden on the table so secretly, even though he was standing beside me, I took a plastic bag out and just stuffed everything in there. Very sneaky!

Anywho, does anyone ever get that gut feeling when you just know something is off? I tend to get that a lot, tonight it was because of my dad how Jason was acting around me. Then I apparently looked like I was crying, which I was not. But yeah, it was just that feeling that something was wrong and I am the person that worries, kind of a lot once I got that idea in my head. Kind of hard to when even on your birthday and you're with your boyfriend at the time, cuddling and he pulls his phone out in front of you. You obviously look and read some of it and it happened to be a girl that wants him in the city next to us. He says that they would do stuff... and we are dating... HELLO! I get pissed and he is just she knows I'm joking... She didn't and never did know we were dating or that he had a girlfriend. He just said for my sake, that they couldn't do that just because, and I get yelled at. So yeah, I know how girls work because of course I've done it and I've been there. It's sick. Girls should know that when a boy is in a relationship they should Back The Fuck OFF! I would never encourage a boy to cheat on their girlfriend. That's terrible! Anywho, that's one story of my life. Happy sweet 16 to me. I'm 17 now and this past birthday was the best.

Well I hope this month is amazing for me and everyone else!

Keep it real people and drink your god damn milk!